Cleveland judge cancels court dates so everyone can go to the Cavs parade

Cleveland.com - This is one way to celebrate Cleveland’s first title in 52 years.

Cleveland municipal court has decided to give defendants a hall pass for the day and will not issue arrest warrants if defendants miss their court dates.

From Cleveland.com:

“Given the historic nature of the Cleveland Cavaliers NBA Championship victory, it is only right and proper that the Cleveland Municipal Court facilitate an opportunity for our employees and those who use the Cleveland Municipal Court’s facilities to join with the rest of Northeast Ohio and the Cavaliers’ nation for the celebratory parade scheduled to take place tomorrow,” Presiding Judge Ronald B. Adrine said.

The parade will run through the center of the city and right past the city Justice Center in downtown Cleveland.

Just hope you don’t get a parking ticket at the parade because I don’t think they’ll let you off twice.

Tough not to be jealous of Clevelanders this morning (if only for one morning).  This is the kind of shit you long for as a sports fan.  Your entire city in a complete state of euphoria.  Businesses closed for the last three days.  Important folks making real life judicial decisions based on the fact that the Cavs won a basketball game.  All completely unrelatable as a New Yorker.  Every time the Yankees or Giants hold a championship parade it's like another day at the office.  I'm like Bob Crachit pleading with Ebenezer Scrooge trying to get a motherfucking morning off.  If you're fortunate enough to have a job in Cleveland today you couldn't go to work if you tried.

Point is, it sucks waking up today and realizing that I'll never have anything like that.  Sure if the Knicks or the Jets ever win anything in my lifetime it'll be about as big an ordeal as anything that's ever happened in this town, but they'll still be about 50% of the people you work with the day of the parade who haven't the slightest idea why Broadway is shutdown.

Hal says we ain't selling just yet

NJ.COM - "Well, we'll have to see at the end of July, the way we always do," Steinbrenner said. "We'll take a look at everything. We'll see what injuries, if any, we've had from here until then, and where the deficients are and we'll go from there. If we stay healthy, I've always believed we have a shot."

But if the team is out of it, will they trade players -- like relievers Andrew Miller and/or Aroldis Chapman?

"I'd have to be there to answer that," he said. "You know me, I'm not big on hypotheticals. Let's just see. I believe we're going to be right smack in the middle of it come July."

Now this isn't exactly the kind of General Patton missive you would have gotten out of his father, but it's encouraging nonetheless.  Let me be clear - I'm not averse to becoming a seller at the deadline.  If the Yanks are six or seven games below .500 on July 15th and all the guys who've sucked all year continue to suck, by all means ship Beltran and Chapman.  See what you can get back for Miller.  But for christ sakes they're four games out of a playoff spot with 93 games left to play.  Are they THAT much worse than the top teams in the American League?  Is it IMPOSSIBLE for them to figure a few things out and nab one of those wildcard spots before the regular season ends?  I understand that an appearance in a one game playoff isn't exactly what you sign up for when you throw down a billion dollars for Yankee season tickets but isn't this what being a baseball fan is all about?  Having a chance to play meaningful September/October games?  You know how many teams would kill for that?  

My point is if they're in the running to get into the dance, don't go selling off the team.  I know you've gotta break it down to build it back up but I'm not wired that way.  Call me arrogant.  Call me stupid.  I don't give a shit.  I don't think about the future.  Never have.  I don't have a savings account, I don't put money into my retirement and I don't give up on seasons in the middle of June so the 2018 Yankees might have a chance to be better.  So unlike a lot of you out there, I'll be rooting for the Yankees over the next few weeks.  Sorry I'm not trying to ruin my summer in exchange for a few prospects that may or may not pan out.

Did the Yankees just record a come from behind win?

Not really sure what I just watched.  All day long it was business as usual for the Yankees.  Getting worked by fucking Ricky Nolasco.  Couldn't even get a runner to second base through the first six innings of the game.  You see that four spot up on the board in the 7th and figure that's all she wrote since this team hasn't shown any spine all year long.  And then next thing you know, A-Rod and Beltran are knotting things up with a couple of two-run dingers and suddenly the Yankees won a baseball game where they were trailing are back.

Things could've fallen in line with the rest of the season at any point after Beltran's home run.  Bases loaded and nobody out felt like a great opportunity to come away with nothing and lose the game in the bottom of the 9th.  The two home runs off Chapman reminded us that the Yankees probably had no business winning this game.  But just as Jaqen H'ghar said to Arya after she killed the waif - here you are, and there she is.

And so the Yankees are back to 500.  What does that mean?  It means there are going to be lunatics crying out about how the Yankees are back after taking three straight from a historically bad Twins team.  It means the date in which the Yankees officially become sellers has probably just been pushed back a smidgen.  But what it really means is that crazy part in the back of all of our brains that always tells us the Yankees are just a quirk or two away from contending for a World Series championship has once again just been tapped into.

There isn't a chance in hell this is Derek Jeter's bachelor party

Chilling at the pool with the boys after golf day @jorgeposada_20 @ctino_martinez #greattime #livinglife #golftrip

A photo posted by Andruw Jones (@therealandruwjones) on Jun 14, 2016 at 4:03pm PDT

Derek Jeter went on a #golftrip with three of his former Yankees teammates and had a #greattime, roughly three weeks before his upcoming nuptials.

Yes, it has all the makings of a bachelor party.

Instagram photos posted Wednesday show Jeter at the Casa de Campo Resort in the Dominican Republic with Jorge Posada, Tino Martinez and Andruw Jones. (Way to make the cut, Andruw!)

The modified Core Four — with 1,308 homers, 8,987 hits and 13 World Series rings among them — went multiple rounds on the golf course (note the outfit change) and lounged in the cabana with a delightful array of snacks.

Jeter, who turns 42 later this month, will marry Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover model Hannah Davis on July 2 in Napa County, Calif., according to Page Six, in a small wedding with a family-focused guest list.

Davis, 26, celebrated her bachelorette party last weekend in Miami with a group of 10 girlfriends.

“I’m really happy for him, she’s amazing,” Posada said last fall. “We love her and we look forward to that day.”

I think anyone with a brain can confidently say that there isn't a chance in hell this is Derek Jeter's bachelor party.  There is not a shot on Earth that the greatest stickman in the history of stickmen is going out like this - spending the final days of his unmarried life drinking fuzzy navels and eating empanadas with Tino Martinez.

More importantly, you think Andruw Jones is going to be snappin pics for the gram at Derek Jeter's bachelor party?  We all know who we're talking about right?  The most secretive dude in the history of the world.  The guy who has guests patted down for cellphones before he lets them walk into his home.  The guy who spent twenty years playing in New York City as the face of baseball, sticking himself inside everything that moves while never once getting caught in a single embarrassing moment.  Derek Jeter's bachelor party is going to be more top secret than the raid on Osama Bin Laden's house.  More people know who killed JFK than are going to be involved in this operation.  It's so secret and sexy I can't even stand it.

Chase Headley is batting cleanup for the Yankees today and I think I just gave up on the season

Being a Yankee fan has yielded some pretty embarrassing moments over these past few years.  The scarce crowd attendances.  The superfluous number retirements.  The general poor performance of the team.  But I don't think anything I've ever experienced is as humiliating as looking at my team's lineup card this afternoon and seeing Chase Fucking Headley batting cleanup.  The fact that Chad Bettis is gameplanning today, looking at Headley's name on the lineupcard, and saying to himself, "I can't let THIS GUY beat me" is gut wrenching.  Chase Headley literally couldn't hit a ball out of the infield for the first two months of the season.  He's the most uninspiring, low-T hitter in the world and now he's the guy Joe Girardi is depending on today to give the Yankees the big blow.

Honestly this may be it for me.  I've been in a weird spot in my brain with this team.  Sell.  Don't Sell.  Give up.  Keep going.  It's agonizing.  But this might be just be the release I needed.  Anytime I think to myself that this team might be capable of doing something, I'll just remember "Hey, Chase Headley batted fourth for this team at some point this season," and then I'll let go. 

Yanks Sweep The Halos, Climb Back To .500

What a difference four games makes.  That Sunday loss after the rain delay was a fucking backbreaker.  I was ready to trade Chapman right then and there.  Then McCann, Castro and Beltran saved the season with the three biggest hits of the year Monday night and all of the sudden the Yanks are back to .500 and looking primed to hopefully not lose a bunch of games in a row like they did last time they reached this plateau.

Realistically, a team came in here with half a minor league roster and a bunch of scrub pitchers and they got the shit kicked out of them.  The Yankees scored 29 runs in four games which isn't anything to sneeze at considering this team couldn't buy a single fucking run for about two months.  That's the one encouraging thing about the prospects of this team.  The offense had been so putrid, so historically bad and yet they still hadn't fallen out of it.  Now the starting pitching has started to round itself out, we've gotten through a few bumps in the road with Betances and Chapman and the lineup is starting to not score zero runs per game.  That's a recipe for success.

Are we starting to eat a little?

This is where we're at right now.  The Yankees win two games in a row at home against a sub-500 team and I'm out here talking about how the Yankees are cooking.  But this is how we're going to get through this season.  Hatch on to the little streaks.  It's not a lie if you believe it.

Truthfully the last few days have been borderline encouraging.  Gardner and A-Rod look like they're starting to figure things out a littttttle bit.  Pineda's put together a couple of encouraging outings.  And the Yankees have an extremely soft schedule this month (all sub-500 teams until the Rangers on the 27th).  If they can manage to go 10-6 against the Angels, Twins, Tigers, Rockies they'll be two games over .500 by the end of the month and right in the pennant race.  I think any Yankee fan in the world would sign up for that.

It's sad that I'm actually excited for more Austin Romine and Rob Refsnyder.  It's not even that they're swinging the bats particularly well right now.  It's just that they bring a different mindset to the plate.  They have a different idea than everyone else.  They aren't up there doing things that used to work when they were young but don't work anymore cause they're old.  All they're trying to do is tally up base hits because they're professional lives are literally on the line every single game.  Romine was this close to being in someone else's organization this spring and Refsnyder's gotten lost in the fold as the guy without a position who's bat is still a question mark.  Now out of need, the Yankees are going to give them both fairly regular playing time and we're going to see if they can stick.  In a season where there hasn't been much to get excited about, this has my wheels turning just a bit.  Sad, I know.

PS - Andrew Miller is slowly creeping onto my list of favorite Yankees of all time.  First of all he's the best player on this team and it's not particularly close.  Jobs changing every day.  Names floating around in trade rumors.  Doesn't give a fuck.  Just trots out to Johnny Cash, throw up zeros and goes home without saying a word.