Listen Tom, I understand you're upset. We all know you're a great competitor (we can tell because you scream a lot) and that not being in the Super Bowl this weekend must be killing you but Derek Jeter does not want to hear your shit. He didn't watch your game last weekend. He doesn't even watch baseball. He's busy planning a wedding and managing the hottest sports site in the world. He doesn't have time to listen to you mope about how you couldn't move the ball an inch against the Broncos.
And how about these kids asking for a pic with the Captain and completely ignoring Brady. That's a 4-time Super Bowl champion quarterback standing off on the side like he's Jeter's fucking intern.
It just goes to show you can be the greatest football player of all time but when you're standing next to Derek Jeter your just another schlub. Kids from Ann Arbor are lining up to take pictures with Jeter when he's been retired for a year and a half. The guy off to the left won the Super Bowl last year and they don't even know who the fuck he is. This whole signing day thing is another example. Brady actually played and was drafted out of Michigan. All Jeter did was say he kind of liked the Wolverines when he was a teenager and he's even more welcomed at this thing than Brady is. Maybe if Tom took a few fashion tips from the Captain and didn't look like a gangly substitute teacher everywhere he went then kids wouldn't be afraid to go near him.
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