Poll shows what people are willing to do to get rid of their student loans

WASHINGTON -- How far would you go to pay off your student loans? Cut off a pinky finger? Take a punch from former professional boxer Mike Tyson? Give up social media for life?

A new poll shows some graduated student loan borrowers would willingly go to extremes to pay off outstanding student debt. That includes pain, suffering and, possibly, a move to Syria.

"We think it is clear that current student loan borrowers are feeling pressured by their debt," said Nate Matherson of Lendedu, an online company that provides information about loan refinancing options. "Unfortunately, none of these options are currently available under the Department of Education's Public Service Loan Forgiveness program."

This poll is pertinent for me because it was just last month that I made my first legitimate student loan payment and holy shit that was a shot to the solar plexus.  I'd been in grad school for the last two years so I had deferred my payments up until now and all that time I'd been living in La-La-Land.  I figured by the time I was all done studying I'd have a job that paid so well I wouldn't even notice those auto-debit charges on my checking account.  Now this debt owns me.  I'm not going to be able to make any progress in my life until I'm completely rid of it.  No new clothes.  No vacations.  No girlfriend until I'm at least 32.  I used to think my whole "forever alone" mentality was kind of a half-hearted joke but now it's pretty much set in stone.  It's basically mayonnaise sandwiches and pornhub on my neighbor's wifi until 2023.

So here were the eleven questions asked to people about what exactly they would and wouldn't be willing to do in order to expunge their student loan debt.  I figured there wouldn't be a single thing here I'd say no to but the questions were a little more complicated than I thought.

1.  57.89 percent would give up social media for life
I'm pretty sure ten years from now if you aren't literate in social media the only way you'll be able to hold a job is if you move to like Oklahoma and become a soybean farmer.  Not sure I'd be willing to do that.  It's a no for me.

2.  57.11 percent would give up coffee for life
I literally cannot put sentences together without coffee.  Can't do it.

3.  56.73 percent would take a punch from boxer Mike Tyson
Easy yes.  He could come to my house and punch me whenever he likes until the day he dies (not a huge window).

4.  56.14 percent would abstain from alcohol and drugs for life
I would love to think I could do this.  I long for the day where the excitement of my life doesn't revolve around when/where I'm drinking but I don't think it's coming anytime soon.  Can't do it.

5.  40.35 percent would take one year off life expectancy
Most stupid question I've ever heard in my life.

6.  35.67 percent would give up texting for life
Yes.  We can't be that far away from developing some sort of simpler way to communicate with one another.  Until them I'm off the grid.

7.  28.07 percent would name first-born daughter Sallie Mae
That's a really pretty name now that you mention it.

8.  20.47 percent would wear same outfit everyday for life
As long as I can wash it every night.  It'd be weird at first but I'm sure eventually people would stop asking you about it and you'd just be like Doug or Hey Arnold.

9.  6.47 percent would cut off pinky finger
Yes but I need someone else to do it for me.  I can't even put eyedrops in my eyes.

10.  4.68 percent would move to Syria for life
Not for one day and not for a trillion dollars.

11.  4.09 percent would contract a random sexually transmitted disease for life
Can't be random.  There's a few on that list I'd infect myself with right now just to duck my March payment but I'm not playing Russian roulette while some of those incurables are in the chamber (looking at you herpes).