Fact about me - I am fucking petrified of raccoons. I've been able to shake most of my childhood fears as I've gotten older but my fear of coons has just gotten stronger like a piece of oak. When I get home and see that my garbage has been overturned I don't even THINK about cleaning it up cause I'm afraid the coon may still be lurking. It's a mad dash to the front door. I was playing golf once and a family of them came over to us to crawl into the garbage near the tee box and I just drove away in the cart with everyone's clubs and didn't play the hole. I swear to god if I ever walked into Yankee Stadium and saw this fucking thing peering at me from behind a seat
I don't think I'd ever walk into another Yankee game ever again.
Who said it's boring at Yankee camp? Today we have a raccoon standoff (it ends well!!) pic.twitter.com/nxsLFsEbxw— Marly Rivera ~ ESPN (@MarlyRiveraESPN) February 28, 2016
I don't know who this guy is who went up on an aerial lift to battle this vermin a hundred feet up off the ground but I'm pretty sure he deserves a medal of valor. Tossed that motherfucker off the screen like the Undertaker throwing Mankind off the top of hell-in-a-cell.
I don't think my fear is without merit. Raccoons are fucking terrifying. They're revolting, evil creatures. Look at this thing
I've never heard a raccoon hiss before but I'd imagine it sounds like something out of a Stephen King movie. These things are pure evil. If I ever win an Oscar I'm going to spend my speech talking about how we need to eradicate these things. I thought maybe we knocked one off over the weekend but it looks like this guy survived that fall and made it out of the stadium. We can only pray on his way across the Dale Mabry Highway he was pulverized by an 18-wheeler.
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