OH WE EATIN.

Another day.  Another Yankee win.  Seven in a row.  13 of 17.  Beating Chris Archer.  Winning games after rain delays.  And here we are.  September 10th and the Yankees are a half game back of a fucking playoff spot and 3.5 games out of FIRST PLACE.  Of all the dramatic things.  

They say this team doesn't have a strength.  I couldn't disagree more.  Tanaka has low-key been the best pitcher in the American League this year.  Showing up today and straight fucking outclassing Chris Archer and his weird hair/durag thing.  Gary Sanchez has been the best player in baseball since he was inserted into the Yankee lineup in August.  And the bullpen hasn't missed a beat.  If anything, it's gotten better as a collective unit.  Big Delly.  Clippard. Warren. Tommy Layne.  Blake Parker.  Everybody contributing.

Tomorrow at 1 was supposed to be about football.  About the Jets and Bengals.  And now?  It still kind of is.  But if you aren't dedicating one television to the Yankees tomorrow than you're probably 90% of America so I don't blame you but if you're a Yankee fan than it makes sense.

WE EATIN.

Gary Sanchez Is The Best Player In Baseball

It's pointless to try and put the start of Gary Sanchez's career into words.  He literally hits a home run every single day.  Throwing runners out left and right.  Working the count like fucking Paul O'Neill.  He's been the best player in baseball over the last two weeks.  That's a Snapple Fact.

It's pretty ridiculous how much more exciting the season has gotten since the fire sale.  First there was the Austin-Judge debut and now a stretch of 10 homers in 12 games by Sanchez that has turned his every at-bat into appointment television.  This team isn't playing better by coincidence.  The Yankees are a better team than they were before the deadline because they've basically had Miguel Cabrera with a metal bat hitting in the middle of their lineup for the last 21 games.  Warren-Clippard-Betances are nothing to shake a stick at either.  They're 13-1 when leading after 6 innings since they shipped Miller and Chapman away.

It's nothing short of preposterous that the Yankees are still in this thing.  This team was pretty much trash before they traded off their three best players and here they are.  They're going to be six games over since the deadline and two games back of a playoff spot with almost their entire remaining schedule against teams that are in front of them.  I'm sure for the next five weeks we'll all sit here and wait for the carriage to turn back into a pumpkin but for now the Yanks are right in the thick of it and that's pretty cool.  Just ask my man #IamGary

New Yorkers never quit. Neither will we @Yankees. Please keep coming out to support. Thank you. #YankeesDontQuit #IamGary

— Gary Sanchez (@ElGarySanchez) August 27, 2016

Would you trade Aaron Judge and Gary Sanchez right now for Chris Sale?

Joe and Evan had Jon Heyman on this afternoon and were discussing the Yankees youth movement when the idea of trading for Chris Sale came about.  Joe was vehemently against dealing either Judge OR Sanchez for Sale while Heyman claimed he'd make that move if he were the Yankees in a nanosecond.  Evan was somewhere in the middle.  For me, as appealing as it would be to employ the best pitcher in the American League for the next 3+ years while paying him half of what he ought to be making, I can't part ways with these kids right now.  The Yankees aren't an ace away from contending.  They aren't a big time starting pitcher away from making a run to the World Series.  They have a LOT of holes to fill before they can get back to the top and two of the most glaring ones would be those left by Sanchez and Judge if they were shipped off for a pitcher.  If those two reach their potential the impact they would have on the team would be exponentially greater than that of any big time starting pitcher.  That's a Snapple Fact.

Is Chris Sale a generational talent?  You could say that.  But I'd be lying if I said I could watch him and his lanky frame herk and jerk and gyrate all over the place without wondering when his elbow is going to explode into a thousand pieces.  As Joe was saying this afternoon, that's just the way it is now with pitchers.  EVERYONE gets hurt.  Pretty soon Tommy John surgery is gonna be like getting the chicken pox vaccine before you're allowed to join a major league roster.  Not only is a starting pitcher's impact limited to 33 games or so in a fully-healthy regular season, it can all vanish in one fell swoop.  Look at Kershaw this year.  The guy was just pitching one day and all of the sudden he's fucking paralyzed.  It's like final destination with these guys.

My philosophy, especially with pitchers, is stockpile talent, see who flames out/dies from elbow surgery and take the rest.  Acquire as many good arms as you possibly can and hope to fill out a rotation.  There are smarter ways to do that than to trade your two best offensive prospects.

Would you trade Aaron Judge and Gary Sanchez right now for Chris Sale?

Joe and Evan had Jon Heyman on this afternoon and were discussing the Yankees youth movement when the idea of trading for Chris Sale came about.  Joe was vehemently against dealing either Judge OR Sanchez for Sale while Heyman claimed he'd make that move if he were the Yankees in a nanosecond.  Evan was somewhere in the middle.  For me, as appealing as it would be to employ the best pitcher in the American League for the next 3+ years while paying him half of what he ought to be making, I can't part ways with these kids right now.  The Yankees aren't an ace away from contending.  They aren't a big time starting pitcher away from making a run to the World Series.  They have a LOT of holes to fill before they can get back to the top and two of the most glaring ones would be those left by Sanchez and Judge if they were shipped off for a pitcher.  If those two reach their potential the impact they would have on the team would be exponentially more valuable than that of any big time starting pitcher.  That's a Snapple Fact.

Is Chris Sale a generational talent?  You could say that.  But I'd be lying if I said I could watch him and his lanky frame herk and jerk and gyrate all over the place without wondering when his elbow is going to explode into a thousand pieces.  As Joe was saying this afternoon, that's just the way it is now with pitchers.  EVERYONE gets hurt.  Pretty soon Tommy John surgery is gonna be like getting the chicken pox vaccine before you're allowed to join a major league roster.  Not only is a starting pitchers impact limited to 33 games or so in a fully-healthy regular season, it can all vanish in one fell swoop.  Look at Kershaw this year.  The guy was just pitching one day and all of the sudden he's fucking paralyzed.  It's like final destination with these guys.

My philosophy, especially with pitchers, is stockpile talent, see who flames out/dies from elbow surgery and take the rest.  Just randomly acquire as many good arms as you can and hope to fill out a rotation and there are smarter ways to do that than trade your two best offensive prospects.

Yanks drop second straight to Toronto and I'm an idiot

I seriously think I have psycho-emotional issues.  Last night when the Yanks took a 6-0 lead I legitimately thought they were ready to make a run at the playoffs.  That's just how I'm geared.  I see a few special moments - Green's gem, Judge and Austin's back-to-back, Sanchez's home run barrage  - and all of the sudden I'm envisioning Chase Headley soaked in Don Pérignon hoisting the 2016 World Series trophy.

Safe to say the last 24 hours have been humbling.  This lineup may be a LOT more dangerous with Judge/Sanchez in there as everyday players but that doesn't change the fact that this team can't pitch and hasn't been able to do so for 90% of this season.  It's time to officially stop worrying about wins and losses and just enjoy watching the kids.

PS - Imagine the optimism that would've surrounded this team right now if Severino pitched half as well as he was supposed to this year?  Hard to complain about the young talent coming through the pipeline but the young pitchers in this system have a ways to go before they can catch up with the bats.

Sanchez to finish the season/next 10 years as the everyday catcher

There are a couple of things to be excited about today if you’re a Yankee fan, and they both involved Gary Sanchez.  The first is that he and Judge are going to be hitting 4th and 5th in the lineup respectively this afternoon against J.A. Happ.  Pretty much a no-brainer here.  I suspect some might think it’s not fair to throw a couple of kids with a handful of major league at-bats into the middle of the order for the rest of the year but there’s quite literally nobody else on this team capable of filling those roles.  These two are red-hot, they’re feeling good, get them some more at-bats and see where it takes us.  Playing it safe and batting Chase Headley cleanup is the most nonsensical move in sports history.

The second is that Joe Girardi announced this morning that Gary Sanchez will be the everyday starting catcher for the duration of the season, with Brian McCann working as the DH.  Not a surprise, but it’s interesting what this might mean for McCann going forward.  The Yanks have a already tried to trade him, waived him and have now taken his job.  He’s got two years and $34 million left on his deal after 2016 and you can bet your bottom dollar it’s going to take the Yankees eating a good amount of that to get someone to take him off their hands.  One way or another, I’d expect the Yankees to be carrying two catchers in 2017 and not one of them is going to be named Brian McCAnn.

Yanks Win Fourth Straight, Move Two Games Over .500

It'd be wrong to call this a roller-coaster ride since it's been the dullest Yankee season in 30 years but I really don't know how else to phrase it.  Every time I'm ready to sell they give me a little hope and every time I get a little optimistic they make me want to throw my TV out the window.  If you have half a brain you won't let this fool you.  You won't let Pineda fool you.  He can just as easily go out on his next turn and serve up homer after homer like he did against the Red Sox this past weekend.  But this is what happens when you get good starting pitching.  Four straight good starts = four straight wins.

There is one constant on this team.  Late inning leads do not vanquish.  Ever.  NoRunsDMC has been so good all year it doesn't even make sense and lately, it's been a group effort.  28.2 straight scoreless innings.  .088 batting average against.  Those are fucking disrespectful statistics.  If you want to take something from this week, it's the middle relief.  Anthony Swarzak and Nick Goody have both been really impressive lately and if they can continue to show glimpses of competence like this down the stretch it'll be huge.  If the Yanks plan on getting back into this they're going to need guys who can throw up zeros other than Betances/Miller/Chapman.

The clock is winding down here.  There are some very, very difficult decisions that have to be made in the next couple weeks and the more the Yankees win, the more complicated things get.  Folks will tell you the Yankees winning these four games is bad for the big picture outlook on this team but it also means they have more leverage.  If Cashman can convince other teams that they're a contender, that means the asking price on Miller, Chapman and Beltran goes up.  I think that's a good thing.

Every Time I Think They're Out, They Pull Me Back In

This reminded me so much of how I felt after the Yankees lost that raindelay game in Baltimore and then came back late and won the next night against the Angels.  Both times they lost a game they desperately needed.  Both times they had Chapman on the mound with a lead and both times it was spoiled by Mother Nature.  The only diffetence is this time I won't be fooled by it.  Ordinarily I would say this is going to jettison them to make a big run, but we've seen about 5 of these moments so far this year and everyone of them has been followed by disappointment.

If there's something to take from this it's that Mike Pineda just may be getting his mojo back.  You still can't possibly count on him game to game and pulling him for Dellin was a no-brainier given how enigmatic he is, but the Texas Rangers fucking mash and he made them look like chumps today.  20 swings and misses.  12 Ks in 6 innings.  That's the kind of dominance we haven't seen out of him since last Mother's Day.

This little game of cat and mouse with this team is starting to make me sick.  Like I've said a million times, I can't relate to the average baseball fan.  I don't know what it's like to give up on a season before the math tells me to.  I know I'm stupid, but I'm still trying to hang on. What do these last two games mean?  It means we're still "alive".  It means we'll all be paying just a little more attention to this series in San Diego.  It means the haul for Miller, Chapman and Beltran may be a little bit greater if the Yankees can convince other teams they still have something to play for.  It means all good things.  These last two games were about as exciting as the stadium has been all year long and if you ask me, splitting a four game set with the best team in the American League is about all you can ask for from your 2016 New York Yanekes.  We're on to San Diego.

You've gotta be kidding me

I don't know what just happened.  I'll admit it - I didn't stay up for this.  I dozed off sound as a pound.  Slept like a baby assuming the same thing that every other logical person did - that the game would be called and that the Yanks had won.  Then I wake up to like ten notifications telling me Kirby Yates came in to pitch in the middle of the night and plunked everyone who stepped up to the plate until the Rangers took a 9-6 lead.  That the umpires decided to resume the game at 2:15 in the morning after a three and a half hour rain delay.  How is that possible?  How are those conditions safer or more fair than playing in the middle of a monsoon?  Asking these guys to wake up and jump into the 9th inning of a one-run game is lunacy and had the Yankees pulled out a win I'd have absolutely no problem with it whatsoever.

I'm not actually mad at the umpires.  I'm not mad at God for the rain.  I'm not even mad at Kirby Yates.  Joe Girardi lost the Yankees the game this morning.  The decision to go to Kirby Yates instead of Aroldis Chapman once play resumed was basically capitulating to the Rangers.  You didn't get him up again because he warmed up and threw nine pitches a few hours ago?  What planet are we on Joe?  This guy can throw six days in a row in his sleep.  He doesn't take days off.  Not only that, what are you protecting him from?  You have him on the books for three more months and he's going to be the first guy out the door once you torpedo this season making dumb decisions like that.  Try to win a game for me one fucking time.

You think Desmond and Mazara were chomping at the bit to see 104mph at 2 in the morning?  Here are some facts - pitching Chapman there gives you about a 95% chance of winning the game.  Waking Kirby Yates up in the middle of the night and asking him to rub the sand out of his eyes to throw to one of the best lineups in baseball gives you a 2% chance of winning the game.  That's the actual math.

This is eerily similar to the loss in Baltimore a few weeks ago after a rain delay (Chapman's only blown save of the year).  The only problem was, that was then and this is now.  The Yanks were supposed to have made some progress since then.  They haven't, and now they're a game under .500 with three more games to play against the best team in the American League.  The hole the Yanks have dug themselves has given them almost no margin for error and this game was an absolute back-breaker.  I hate to say it, but there may be no coming back from this.

StubHub Agrees To A Deal With The Yankees To Become Their Official Secondary Market Reseller

ESPN - The New York Yankees announced Monday morning that they are transferring their resale business, Yankees Ticket Exchange, to StubHub, which will take over for Ticketmaster as the team's new fan-to-fan ticket exchange.

Financial terms of the deal were not disclosed, but the business is believed to be worth more than $100 million to the Yankees over the term of the contract.

"We are committed to providing our fans with a first-class ticket experience, and offering the safest, most secure and efficient platform for our fans to sell and purchase tickets," Yankees president Randy Levine said in a statement. "This new product was the result of many productive discussions with StubHub, which will allow them to fully integrate into our ticket system. We are confident this collaboration will best protect our fans in the resale ticket marketplace."

The deal brings to an end a long battle between the team and StubHub, which began in 2012 when the Yankees were one of two teams -- along with the  Los Angeles Angels -- to opt out of Major League Baseball's deal to renew StubHub's role as the league's official secondary ticket market.

"The New York Yankees are one of the preeminent brands in professional sports, and we are thrilled to join with them to create a best-in-class fan experience," StubHub president Scott Cutler said in a statement. "StubHub's goal is to ensure that fans have access to games that they love to attend, and I'd like to thank both the Yankees and MLB Advanced Media for their willingness to come to the table and reach a positive solution for all parties."

This change also ends the influence of a controversial move that the Yankees and Ticketmaster made at the start at the season, when they banned print-at-home ticketing and PDFs in favor of mobile transfers.

The public reasoning for doing so was to help prevent fraud, as PDFs can be printed many times, and if multiple people had copies of the same ticket, the first person to scan a copy of a PDF would get in while the others were denied. But the move also benefited Ticketmaster, since StubHub could not carry out mobile transfers because it didn't have access to the tickets' bar codes -- only the team's official partner, which at the time was Ticketmaster, has access to the codes.

What this meant was that if someone wanted to sell a ticket on StubHub, they had to bring it to StubHub's office near Yankee Stadium by the day of the game at the latest. It was an inconvenience at best for a business that has become known for its ease of use.

Fans who bought the tickets also had to go to a StubHub office more than a half-mile away from Yankee Stadium to pick them up.

The deal will close that StubHub office, but it is not yet known how the new arrangement, which will begin after the All-Star Game, will work.

What does this actually mean for Yankee fans?  As of right now, nothing.  It's unclear exactly what the logistics of this deal are.  Are the price floors that were implemented through the Yankees Ticket Exchange going to remain now that StubHub's reportedly shelled out $100 million for the rights to the team?  It's unclear.  But right now there's nothing more convenient about using StubHub versus YTE.  You still can't use print-at-home tickets.  You still have to depend on the technology of mobile ticket scanners.  If anything it inconveniences everyone who's already been buying/selling with YTE cause now they have to pick up and move everything while they start a new life with StubHub.

I suppose in the future there's a chance there'll be a StubHub office somewhere at or in the very near vicinity of Yankee Stadium where you can pick up hard-stock tickets, but that's also cumbersome.  The best part of StubHub, the thing that got it off the map for Yankee fans was being able to print out $2 dollar tickets an hour and a half before first pitch and you still can't do either of those things anymore so none of this really matters to me at all.

Mediocre

There's really nothing else left to say.  The Yankees have had every opportunity these last eleven games to get fat and start figuring things out.  Every chance to make some hay and maybe give us a reason to be optimistic about the rest of the year.  But like clockwork, with a chance today to go two games over .500 for the first time since April 12th, they were obliterated in every facet of the game and their record promptly receded back down to 37-37.  This team is mediocrity personified. 

Now we aren't exactly at DEFCON 5 after going 6-5 against the Rockies and Twins but there's been absolutely no progress made with this team between then and now.  Still every game that this sad assortment of middle relievers gets their hands on slips away in an eye-blink.  Still the offense is an inconsistent, often times atrocious group that can't be counted on day-to-day.  And still 80% of the rotation is capable of taking the team right out of the game upon any given start.  Today it was Eovalid, who in the month of June has been unquestionably the shittiest pitcher in baseball not named James Shields.  

I'm way more concerned about Eovaldi than I am about the offense.  There isn't a remedy out there that can make this lineup more potent.  It is what it is.  Sometimes they're going to scratch a couple runs across and give you a chance to win if the formula works.  Sometimes they're going to be even worse than usual and give you no chance to win no matter who's throwing.  What's important is establishing a rotation of dependable pitchers who can get the ball to DMC with the game fully intact or with a lead more often than not and Evo has got to be dependable.  He's out there throwing 100 mph and nobody's flinching.  Nobody's buckling.  They're digging in and absolutely mashing home runs against him at almost twice as high of a clip as they ever have.  But it's not just him.  The team has been outhomered 95-76 this year.  The most relaxing place on Earth is in the batters box against New York Yankee starting pitching.

So I'll take it on the chin.  I said there was no way this weekend wouldn't be a sweep and I was wrong.  It still hasn't shaken my belief there's a higher power pulling the strings when the Yanks and Twins play.  It's the only reason Saturday's game came out the way it did but there just wasn't enough juice for today.  As real as the ghosts of this series are, that's how mediocre the Yankees are.

If The Yankees Don't Turn It Around This Weekend, They Never Will

I didn't have a great morning today.  Woke up a little hungover.  Remembered I ate four slices of pizza before I went to bed last night.  Account balance isn't quite where I need it to be.  But then I checked the calendar and remembered the Twins are in town this weekend.  Now THAT is a way to put a little pep in your step.  Nothing brings back the shaken confidence of a Yankee fan quite like a Minnesota Twins regular season visit to Yankee Stadium.  It's one of my favorite times of the year.  The Twinkies walk timidly off the team bus and into the bowels of Yankee Stadium and the game is over before it even starts.  It's a tradition as old as time.

Now I haven't been confident in anything when it comes to the Yankees this year but I'll tell you this - there isn't a chance they don't sweep this series.  That's how far the freehold of the Twins goes.  It's ownership on a cellular level that transcends time and space.  The Yanks have been using the regular season home series against Minnesota as a springboard to figuring their shit out since the stone age.  Doesn't matter who's playing under the uniforms.

Now this is an especially sucky Twins team.  One of the worst we've ever seen.  To think that these losers are going to stroll in here with nothing to play for and upset this ritual is preposterous.  So other than the games, which we can all chalk up as wins now, here's a couple of other things I'm thinking about as we head into the weekend...

Tex's Return

At this point the Yankees are looking for absolutely anything to enhance this offense and make it a more dynamic and consistent group.  Tex may be having the most pathetic start to a season that any Yankee has ever had but we forget he's not THAT far removed from hitting 31 homers in under 500 at-bats last season.  If the knee holds up and he can even slightly resemble the player he was in 2015 it'll be an improvement on this team.  My hope is that it doesn't come at the expense of getting Rob Refsnyder regular turns at the dish.  I know he's going to lose playing time but there's still a lot of ways to get his bat in the lineup and it would behoove Joe Girardi to get creative and figure out how to make that happen.  Or just wait until Tex inevitably needs season ending knee surgery.

Getting Evo back on track

For a second there it looked like Nate was about to pick up where he left off towards the end of last season where he was throwing like one of the best pitchers in baseball.  Instead he's resurfaced back to a level of performance where he, like the rest of his team, cannot be counted on day-in and day-out.  His last time out was also against Minnesota when his team spotted him a lead in a game that would have clinched a four-game sweep had they held on.  Unfortunately he couldn't get the ball into the hands of Betances fast enough, blew the lead, and when the day was over his ERA had crept all the way up over 5.  If he keeps churning out shitty starts like this, the Yanks are doomed.  Nova and Pineda can't be counted on.  God knows when the carriage is going to turn back into a pumpkin with CC.  Getting Eovaldi to at least be the guy you used to be able to count on for 5-6 quality innings is so important and there's reason to believe he'll figure it out.  We've seen him pitch like an ace a bunch of times this year.  As far as I'm concerned he's the new Michael Pineda.  Sometimes it just takes one start to get your mind straight and who better to beat up on than the Minnesota Twins.

Utah Man Takes Out Full-Page Ad Looking For A Wife, Blames It On His 78-Year-Old Dad

UTAH – Salt Lake City businessman Baron Brooks said he was shocked to see a full-page advertisement in a North Idaho newspaper Saturday inviting candidates to interview to be his wife. The 48-year-old broker in the health food trade quickly deduced who was behind the $900 Coeur d’Alene Press ad, which listed criteria such as age, height and political views – “If you voted for Obama or plan to vote for Hillary you are not for me.”  

“My father did this without my consent,” Brooks said in a phone interview Monday. “I can’t even describe to you how embarrassing and ridiculous this is.” He said he was infuriated with his father but also doesn’t want to hurt his feelings. And so he has decided to let his father, 78-year-old Arthur Brooks, of Beverly Hills, California, proceed with interviewing women who meet the specifications for a suitable mate. According to the ad, the interviews will take place Saturday at The Coeur d’Alene Resort. “And then I’ll have words with my father separately,” said Brooks, the owner of two health food stores. “Who knows, it can’t hurt. Who the hell knows? “What am I supposed to do? He already did it,” he added. “No sense in defusing a bomb once it’s already gone off.” Arthur Brooks, who breeds and races thoroughbred horses, said Monday he wouldn’t answer any questions about his ad until noon Sunday, presumably after he selects a winning prospect for his son.

Let me start by saying I don't even think this is that lame. If you want to meet people you have to get in the mix and put yourself out there nowadays. If you aren't enhancing your social media presence or putting together a fire Tinder/Bumble prof you're going to get left in the dust like a sucker and I take it they don't have internet out there in Utah so a full-page ad in the local paper is probably the equivalent to that. However, if you think for one second this dude's 78-year-old father put this shit together you're out of your bird. Look how specific those qualifications are. You think his dad just drew those bullet points up out of thin air? This was a calculated effort by Baron to let the people know that there's a 5'5, 48-year-old single stud out here in Salt Lake City with strong conservative viewpoints and a batch of potent sperm.

It's the perfect plan. Letting people know you're available without looking desperate is a major key (did I use that right?). It's like when you match with a girl on Tinder and she's like "oh my friends made me sign up for this lololol". Here's a fact - ladies are going to be lining up for this shit. This guy's a catch. Sure being 5'5 is always a major detriment but once single women reach a certain age horse and business ownership take precedents over height when seeking out men. And unfortunately for me, as someone who's reaped the benefits of being 6'2 almost all my life, the sand is trickling down that proverbial hourglass at an all too rapid pace.

Aroldis Chapman checking in with enough zippers for the whole family

@dbetances68 #ChapmanSwagg

A photo posted by Aroldis Chapman (@_thecubanmissile54) on Jun 23, 2016 at 9:11am PDT

The entire 2016 NBA draft class just got put on notice.  Think a solid green suit or a crop top tuxedo is going to move the needle anymore?  Child's play.  The Cuban Missile out here doing it for the gram looking like motherfucking Edward Scissorhands.  How many zippers is that?  Like 15 zippers?  Teeth scattered in no particular direction or pattern.  Pulltabs dangling all over the place like Christmas ornaments.  Perhaps the most ridiculous garment donned by a Yankee/Major League Baseball player ever.

I feel like Chapman is on his own planet.  Last week the Yanks lost a game and like an hour later he posted an older picture of himself pitching from Google Images with #ChapmanSwag.  Doesn't speak any English.  He didn't show up until about a month into the season.  It's like Girardi just calls him to come pitch an inning every once in a while and he just trots in and throws as hard as he can until he gets to go home.

Starlin saves the season

El palo de Starlin Castro pic.twitter.com/W1obI6nDzH

— Enrique Rojas/ESPN (@Enrique_Rojas1) June 22, 2016

Here's a secret - I was ready to give up this afternoon.  If the Yanks couldn't hold on to win a game they led 4-0 against the fucking Rockies with their best pitcher on the mound, I would have found it very hard to motivate myself to believe in this team at all anymore.  They need to pick up a head of steam here and going into an off-day having just been swept at home in a two-game set by Colorado would have definitely swung the buy-sell pendulum the other way.  But for the second time in a week the Yanks came from behind down 4 in the late innings to steal a win (although in this case they're sort of indian givers).

Again it was Big-Game-Beltran, getting the Yanks back in the game with a three-run shot and matching his 2015 homer total in the process.  Again it was Didi, nutting up and slicing a two-out, two-strike single into left-center to tie the game at 8.  And again it was the three guys at the back of the bullpen doing what they do better than anybody - striking people out and not letting anybody do anything at all.

I was legitimately mesmerized when the Yanks came back this past weekend at Minnesota. It was the first time they'd shown any late inning grit all season.  Now that makes it twice in the last five days.  I'm not saying we're about to make the leap, but having some late-game chops was a weapon traditionally used by the old guard and something this team desperately needs going forward if they want to do anything at all.

Derek Jeter sat down with President Obama and for the first time ever, was outcooled by someone else

It's giving me heartburn just thinking about writing this.  When it comes to ranking the coolest people on Earth I've defended Derek Jeter against basically everyone on the planet.  From Ronaldo to Leo and everyone in between, I've gotten into straight up wars with people defending Jeter as the coolest cat of our time.  But I think I'm going to have to put my guns away and admit defeat here.  I watched this thing and didn't expect much.  I knew it was all going to be about leadership and charity and community and yada yada yada.  What I did NOT expect was for Jeter to come out this looking more overmatched here than he did his entire farewell season.

First off, POTUS just looks straight up better than Jetes







I always kind of thought Jeter's neck flab would correct itself but here we are, two years into retirement and we're still drooping.  Don't do this to me Derek.  I've fought to hard for you.  Even if you have Hannah Davis draped on your arm those Jeter>Ronaldo arguments aren't going to hold water if you're showing up to the Met Gala in five years looking like Bernie Williams.








Secondly, Obama just looks cooler and more comfortable than our boy.



POTUS looking like he's chilling at a backyard BBQ while Jetes is sitting there in fielding position ready to play a bad hop.


And lastly, this joke that just got butchered at 7:17 and the presidential roast that followed it






Quite literally the most awkward moment in Jetes' life.  I've been there Derek.  Think you have the perfect joke in the chamber and all the sudden shit just starts pouring out of your mouth and you have no choice but to break eye contact and think about what you just said.





Never seen anything like it.  This is the same guy who made the leader of the free world shit his pants before throwing out the first pitch of the World Series.  And here he is getting made fun of by Obama about how bad he was his final season.  All in all this had to have been a very humbling experience for The Captain.  I know it was for me.

Cleveland judge cancels court dates so everyone can go to the Cavs parade

Cleveland.com - This is one way to celebrate Cleveland’s first title in 52 years.

Cleveland municipal court has decided to give defendants a hall pass for the day and will not issue arrest warrants if defendants miss their court dates.

From Cleveland.com:

“Given the historic nature of the Cleveland Cavaliers NBA Championship victory, it is only right and proper that the Cleveland Municipal Court facilitate an opportunity for our employees and those who use the Cleveland Municipal Court’s facilities to join with the rest of Northeast Ohio and the Cavaliers’ nation for the celebratory parade scheduled to take place tomorrow,” Presiding Judge Ronald B. Adrine said.

The parade will run through the center of the city and right past the city Justice Center in downtown Cleveland.

Just hope you don’t get a parking ticket at the parade because I don’t think they’ll let you off twice.

Tough not to be jealous of Clevelanders this morning (if only for one morning).  This is the kind of shit you long for as a sports fan.  Your entire city in a complete state of euphoria.  Businesses closed for the last three days.  Important folks making real life judicial decisions based on the fact that the Cavs won a basketball game.  All completely unrelatable as a New Yorker.  Every time the Yankees or Giants hold a championship parade it's like another day at the office.  I'm like Bob Crachit pleading with Ebenezer Scrooge trying to get a motherfucking morning off.  If you're fortunate enough to have a job in Cleveland today you couldn't go to work if you tried.

Point is, it sucks waking up today and realizing that I'll never have anything like that.  Sure if the Knicks or the Jets ever win anything in my lifetime it'll be about as big an ordeal as anything that's ever happened in this town, but they'll still be about 50% of the people you work with the day of the parade who haven't the slightest idea why Broadway is shutdown.

Hal says we ain't selling just yet

NJ.COM - "Well, we'll have to see at the end of July, the way we always do," Steinbrenner said. "We'll take a look at everything. We'll see what injuries, if any, we've had from here until then, and where the deficients are and we'll go from there. If we stay healthy, I've always believed we have a shot."

But if the team is out of it, will they trade players -- like relievers Andrew Miller and/or Aroldis Chapman?

"I'd have to be there to answer that," he said. "You know me, I'm not big on hypotheticals. Let's just see. I believe we're going to be right smack in the middle of it come July."

Now this isn't exactly the kind of General Patton missive you would have gotten out of his father, but it's encouraging nonetheless.  Let me be clear - I'm not averse to becoming a seller at the deadline.  If the Yanks are six or seven games below .500 on July 15th and all the guys who've sucked all year continue to suck, by all means ship Beltran and Chapman.  See what you can get back for Miller.  But for christ sakes they're four games out of a playoff spot with 93 games left to play.  Are they THAT much worse than the top teams in the American League?  Is it IMPOSSIBLE for them to figure a few things out and nab one of those wildcard spots before the regular season ends?  I understand that an appearance in a one game playoff isn't exactly what you sign up for when you throw down a billion dollars for Yankee season tickets but isn't this what being a baseball fan is all about?  Having a chance to play meaningful September/October games?  You know how many teams would kill for that?  

My point is if they're in the running to get into the dance, don't go selling off the team.  I know you've gotta break it down to build it back up but I'm not wired that way.  Call me arrogant.  Call me stupid.  I don't give a shit.  I don't think about the future.  Never have.  I don't have a savings account, I don't put money into my retirement and I don't give up on seasons in the middle of June so the 2018 Yankees might have a chance to be better.  So unlike a lot of you out there, I'll be rooting for the Yankees over the next few weeks.  Sorry I'm not trying to ruin my summer in exchange for a few prospects that may or may not pan out.

Did the Yankees just record a come from behind win?

Not really sure what I just watched.  All day long it was business as usual for the Yankees.  Getting worked by fucking Ricky Nolasco.  Couldn't even get a runner to second base through the first six innings of the game.  You see that four spot up on the board in the 7th and figure that's all she wrote since this team hasn't shown any spine all year long.  And then next thing you know, A-Rod and Beltran are knotting things up with a couple of two-run dingers and suddenly the Yankees won a baseball game where they were trailing are back.

Things could've fallen in line with the rest of the season at any point after Beltran's home run.  Bases loaded and nobody out felt like a great opportunity to come away with nothing and lose the game in the bottom of the 9th.  The two home runs off Chapman reminded us that the Yankees probably had no business winning this game.  But just as Jaqen H'ghar said to Arya after she killed the waif - here you are, and there she is.

And so the Yankees are back to 500.  What does that mean?  It means there are going to be lunatics crying out about how the Yankees are back after taking three straight from a historically bad Twins team.  It means the date in which the Yankees officially become sellers has probably just been pushed back a smidgen.  But what it really means is that crazy part in the back of all of our brains that always tells us the Yankees are just a quirk or two away from contending for a World Series championship has once again just been tapped into.

There isn't a chance in hell this is Derek Jeter's bachelor party

Chilling at the pool with the boys after golf day @jorgeposada_20 @ctino_martinez #greattime #livinglife #golftrip

A photo posted by Andruw Jones (@therealandruwjones) on Jun 14, 2016 at 4:03pm PDT

Derek Jeter went on a #golftrip with three of his former Yankees teammates and had a #greattime, roughly three weeks before his upcoming nuptials.

Yes, it has all the makings of a bachelor party.

Instagram photos posted Wednesday show Jeter at the Casa de Campo Resort in the Dominican Republic with Jorge Posada, Tino Martinez and Andruw Jones. (Way to make the cut, Andruw!)

The modified Core Four — with 1,308 homers, 8,987 hits and 13 World Series rings among them — went multiple rounds on the golf course (note the outfit change) and lounged in the cabana with a delightful array of snacks.

Jeter, who turns 42 later this month, will marry Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover model Hannah Davis on July 2 in Napa County, Calif., according to Page Six, in a small wedding with a family-focused guest list.

Davis, 26, celebrated her bachelorette party last weekend in Miami with a group of 10 girlfriends.

“I’m really happy for him, she’s amazing,” Posada said last fall. “We love her and we look forward to that day.”

I think anyone with a brain can confidently say that there isn't a chance in hell this is Derek Jeter's bachelor party.  There is not a shot on Earth that the greatest stickman in the history of stickmen is going out like this - spending the final days of his unmarried life drinking fuzzy navels and eating empanadas with Tino Martinez.

More importantly, you think Andruw Jones is going to be snappin pics for the gram at Derek Jeter's bachelor party?  We all know who we're talking about right?  The most secretive dude in the history of the world.  The guy who has guests patted down for cellphones before he lets them walk into his home.  The guy who spent twenty years playing in New York City as the face of baseball, sticking himself inside everything that moves while never once getting caught in a single embarrassing moment.  Derek Jeter's bachelor party is going to be more top secret than the raid on Osama Bin Laden's house.  More people know who killed JFK than are going to be involved in this operation.  It's so secret and sexy I can't even stand it.

Chase Headley is batting cleanup for the Yankees today and I think I just gave up on the season

Being a Yankee fan has yielded some pretty embarrassing moments over these past few years.  The scarce crowd attendances.  The superfluous number retirements.  The general poor performance of the team.  But I don't think anything I've ever experienced is as humiliating as looking at my team's lineup card this afternoon and seeing Chase Fucking Headley batting cleanup.  The fact that Chad Bettis is gameplanning today, looking at Headley's name on the lineupcard, and saying to himself, "I can't let THIS GUY beat me" is gut wrenching.  Chase Headley literally couldn't hit a ball out of the infield for the first two months of the season.  He's the most uninspiring, low-T hitter in the world and now he's the guy Joe Girardi is depending on today to give the Yankees the big blow.

Honestly this may be it for me.  I've been in a weird spot in my brain with this team.  Sell.  Don't Sell.  Give up.  Keep going.  It's agonizing.  But this might be just be the release I needed.  Anytime I think to myself that this team might be capable of doing something, I'll just remember "Hey, Chase Headley batted fourth for this team at some point this season," and then I'll let go. 

Yanks Sweep The Halos, Climb Back To .500

What a difference four games makes.  That Sunday loss after the rain delay was a fucking backbreaker.  I was ready to trade Chapman right then and there.  Then McCann, Castro and Beltran saved the season with the three biggest hits of the year Monday night and all of the sudden the Yanks are back to .500 and looking primed to hopefully not lose a bunch of games in a row like they did last time they reached this plateau.

Realistically, a team came in here with half a minor league roster and a bunch of scrub pitchers and they got the shit kicked out of them.  The Yankees scored 29 runs in four games which isn't anything to sneeze at considering this team couldn't buy a single fucking run for about two months.  That's the one encouraging thing about the prospects of this team.  The offense had been so putrid, so historically bad and yet they still hadn't fallen out of it.  Now the starting pitching has started to round itself out, we've gotten through a few bumps in the road with Betances and Chapman and the lineup is starting to not score zero runs per game.  That's a recipe for success.

Are we starting to eat a little?

This is where we're at right now.  The Yankees win two games in a row at home against a sub-500 team and I'm out here talking about how the Yankees are cooking.  But this is how we're going to get through this season.  Hatch on to the little streaks.  It's not a lie if you believe it.

Truthfully the last few days have been borderline encouraging.  Gardner and A-Rod look like they're starting to figure things out a littttttle bit.  Pineda's put together a couple of encouraging outings.  And the Yankees have an extremely soft schedule this month (all sub-500 teams until the Rangers on the 27th).  If they can manage to go 10-6 against the Angels, Twins, Tigers, Rockies they'll be two games over .500 by the end of the month and right in the pennant race.  I think any Yankee fan in the world would sign up for that.

It's sad that I'm actually excited for more Austin Romine and Rob Refsnyder.  It's not even that they're swinging the bats particularly well right now.  It's just that they bring a different mindset to the plate.  They have a different idea than everyone else.  They aren't up there doing things that used to work when they were young but don't work anymore cause they're old.  All they're trying to do is tally up base hits because they're professional lives are literally on the line every single game.  Romine was this close to being in someone else's organization this spring and Refsnyder's gotten lost in the fold as the guy without a position who's bat is still a question mark.  Now out of need, the Yankees are going to give them both fairly regular playing time and we're going to see if they can stick.  In a season where there hasn't been much to get excited about, this has my wheels turning just a bit.  Sad, I know.

PS - Andrew Miller is slowly creeping onto my list of favorite Yankees of all time.  First of all he's the best player on this team and it's not particularly close.  Jobs changing every day.  Names floating around in trade rumors.  Doesn't give a fuck.  Just trots out to Johnny Cash, throw up zeros and goes home without saying a word.

Guess who's back!

.@Yankees fan-favorite Nick Swisher likely heading back to The Bronx on minor league deal: https://t.co/0h2fQeFbHx pic.twitter.com/voGFKthX2t

— YES Network (@YESNetwork) April 9, 2016

Clubhouse Vibes!  Positive energy!  It's all back baby!  The missing puzzle piece!  Just when you thought the Yanks couldn't have gotten off to a hotter start.  Now SWISH is back in the building.  Sure he'll be a couple of hundred miles away playing minor league baseball.  Sure if he ever gets a mean thing said to him by a Yankee fan he may quit baseball all together.  Fact is I can already feel his pizzaz permeating throughout the big league clubhouse and I'm not even in there.  #Championship

Well that didn't take long

I said before the season started that the best case scenario for Starlin Castro was that he hits his way to the top of the order.  I did NOT expect for him to a) move up this early or b) be hitting THIRD in the order at any time.  But that's the kind of impact Starlin had here in the opening series.  In three games he's literally given them every single thing they didn't have last season.  It cannot be overstated how desperate this team has been for a guy like Castro.  They left so much on the table last year because they didn't have a solid, right-handed contact hitter to balance out all the big left-handed looping swings that consume this lineup.  If Starlin's finally found himself again then this order just got a whole lot more dangerous.  

PS - I don't miss Adam Warren one bit.

It looks like Ellsbury should make his season debut sometime in late May, early June?

Jacoby Ellsbury isn't ready to play yet. He's still reporting some discomfort. The Yankees are hoping he plays Saturday.

— Jared Diamond (@jareddiamond) March 25, 2016

Annnddddd we're back.  March 25th and Ellsbury is already in midseason form.  Honestly, just put him on the 60-Day and hope that he can come back in a couple of months and be productive enough to earn a spot in the starting lineup should the Yankees make it to another wild card game.  That's where I'm at with Ellsbury just a little over two years into this contract.  Just five years and $105.7 million left!

Yo Knows Inside-The-Park Home Runs!

Yo picking up right where he left off last year.  Serving up inside-the-park homers better than anyone in the game.  Throwing his hands up and trying to stop play like the ball rolled under a chainlink fence on a field behind a high school somewhere.  Like it disappeared into the ivy at Wrigley.  Literally trying to make up rules on the fly to avoid exerting himself in anyway.  You think Yo is bending over for baseballs in March?  Bitch, please.

"See?  Not stuck.."




And Terry Collins coming out to argue something I guess






That's the beauty of Yo though.  Sure he he went ice cold down the stretch last season and forgets how to play baseball from time to time.  Bottom line is he has cool cars, does awesome bat flips and hit really well for like five weeks once.  Period. Stop.


"Oh, I just gave up an inside the park home run?  NBD, just spring training.  Sure it'll never happen in a big spot.  Here's another sweet underhand throw." - Yo Cespedes

(Not So) Breaking News: A-Rod will retire after 2017 season. The 2-year farewell tour begins today!

NY POST - Alex Rodriguez knows when he will retire.

The Yankees star told ESPN.com that he will hang up his cleats after the 2017 season when his contract with the team runs out. The PED-tainted slugger returned from a one-season suspension last year and belted 33 home runs with 86 RBIs even as he faded under the weight of playing 151 games.

A-Rod will earn $40 million over the final two seasons of the 10-year, $275 million deal he signed before the 2008 season.

Absolute no-brainer move by A-Rod.  This is what you do when you're the most humble, benevolent superstar in the sport.  You give the people what they want.  You think the rest of baseball could prepare a proper celebration of A-Rod in six months?  You think one season is enough time to reflect and commend one of the great careers in the history of professional sports?  Of course it's not.  That's why we're all getting two.  Sure a year was enough for Mo and Jeetes.  They're easy.  Put a patch on your hat, make a sandcastle, build a rocking chair out of broken bats and you've done your due-dilegence.  But when you're honoring someone as revered as Alex Rodriguez you don't just put together some shitty knickknack from Michaels.  We may be talking marble sculptures and child sacrifices for some of these inter-league games this season.

Obviously this isn't surprising.  A-Rod's already slowly transitioning into retirement.  Between adopting a completely different personality, playing broadcaster on Fox and being the head of a wildly successful corporation that almost has a functioning webpage, A-Rod's pretty much all but hung up his cleats.  Mix that in with the fact that he'll be baseball's all-time home run king at the end of 17', his desire to settle down with his daughters (did you know he had those?) and his new homely billionaire life partner and A-Rod's life post-baseball is looking pretty sweet.

PS - watching A-Rod deflect questions about his retirement like a robot with cliches about "the team" for the next two years is going to be great.

Bryce Harper says baseball is "tired'

FOX - Baseball has become somewhat of a gentleman's sport over the years. Ostentatious celebrations and confident bat flips are criticized rather than celebrated, and players are largely expected to act like they've been there before. There is very little room for personality in the game today, and when players like Bryce Harper do show their swagger, they catch heat for their actions.

According to Harper, that criticism of individuality is exactly why baseball is becoming what he calls a "tired sport." In a recent interview with ESPN The Magazine, Harper explained why he thinks baseball's moral code actually hurts the game. 

"Baseball's tired," Harper said. "It's a tired sport, because you can't express yourself. You can't do what people in other sports do. I'm not saying baseball is, you know, boring or anything like that, but it's the excitement of the young guys who are coming into the game now who have flair. If that's Matt Harvey or Jacob deGrom or Manny Machado or Joc Pederson or Andrew McCutchen or Yasiel Puig -- there's so many guys in the game now who are so much fun.

"... You want kids to play the game, right? What are kids playing these days? Football, basketball. Look at those players -- Steph Curry, LeBron James. It's exciting to see those players in those sports. Cam Newton -- I love the way Cam goes about it. He smiles, he laughs. It's that flair. The dramatic."

Harper has a point. Baseball is a tough game to watch for an American public with an ever decreasing attention span. Unlike other sports, there's no clock in baseball, and games can easily drag on hours longer than a football, basketball or hockey game. When there is no personality and nothing that makes a player or a team stand out among the monotony of balls and strikes, line drives and fly balls, it is easy to see why viewers might lose interest. 

Beyond a great play in the field or a monster performance at bat, what really gets people talking these days are shareable moments from games, and oftentimes it takes personality to create those moments. That is not an idea baseball purists will be fond of -- in baseball, players are expected to be professional at all times. Any sign of individuality is a dark mark against a player rather than a positive attribute.

I don't really get what Bryce is saying here.  First he's complaining about how you can't "express yourself" in baseball like he's a fucking starving artist, then he lists off like ten of its most popular players who all perform with some degree of flair or flamboyance and talks about how exciting they are.  I guess the gist of this is he's saying baseball isn't as exciting as football or basketball because there isn't enough song and dance.  That it's not as appealing to kids and to casual sports fans because there aren't enough bells and whistles.  He's totally right.  Showboating and other shit like that does make things more exciting.  It ups the ante a bit and that's fine with me.  Manny Ramirez was the biggest showboat there was but he embraced that and just kept being himself until the day he retired/was run out of the league for always taking all the steroids. I hated him but he made things infinity more exciting and was one of the biggest reasons those 2000s Yanks/Sox rivalries were as awesome as they were.

The problem is today if you root AGAINST a guy like that then you're automatically an old, white, crusty baseball writer.  Every player who showboats needs everybody to unconditionally love everything about their lives and the way they conduct themselves on the field and if there's any dissent at all they need to post a fucking memoir about the "haters" on their instagram and bitch about it to ESPN The Magazine.  Newsflash Bryce - there are MILLIONS of people that love you and guys like Cam Newton and bat flips and hair flips and dabbing and all that other shit.  There's a reason you're two of the most marketable names in sports today.  BUT there's also a lot of people who don't like guys like you and that's OKAY.  In sports we root for players who exemplify character traits that we value.  Some people like the strong, silent type.  Some people like the loud, flamboyant type.  We don't need to start talking about the crumbling of society ever time someone flips a bat or celebrates a touchdown and we don't all need to go flying off the handle about how baseball is boring and NFL fans are racist every time someone with a more conservative viewpoint has an opinion on sports.  Just shut up and do what you wan to do and stop worrying about what everyone thinks.

Judge and Mateo go deep, the future is here (sort of)

Jorge Mateo introduces this baseball to the scoreboard: https://t.co/PhHOPIQK8X #NYYSpring pic.twitter.com/velCW2u4TN

— New York Yankees (@Yankees) March 5, 2016

This is the kind of stuff that gets you hard.  Judge looking like a goddamn Neanderthal out there.  That ball was WALLOPED.  Sounded like a magnum revolver coming off the bat.  And Mateo is basically the best player on the field every time he plays.  I know conventional wisdom is that he has virtually no chance at making the team at all this year but I think we've got to expand our thinking a bit.  Mateo is a year younger than Carlos Correa and looks like every bit the prospect right now.  Triples and homers everyday, zooming around the basepaths, helmets flying all over the place.  Straight boner-fuel.